Tag Archive | thoughts

Spirit Animal

DSC_5682.jpgI am not a fan of the gawker crowd.  The people that gather in the masses to stare at the animals, because this is all new to them and they know that it is a rare opportunity.  I get why they do it, but as I said-they usually gather in the masses and make it hard to get to views of the animals.  However, with that said…if it wasn’t for the gawker crowd, I would miss out on some of the beauties.  When you are alone and driving, it is not always easy to see the bear that is further down the hill or the beautiful coyote that is running along  relentlessly.

I probably would have seen her eventually, but had it not been for the car that had stopped to watch her, I might not have seen her as in time to catch some of the moments I witnessed.   I probably also would have missed the fact that she sneaked up behind me when I thought I had lost her in the field.  So, I am always thankful for the gawkers, but more so when they disperse and it is just me and the beautiful beast.

With that said, this beautiful beast was running down one of the main roads in the Grand Tetons.  She was relentlessly moving, searching.  She would only stop briefly.  Some of the shots that will come later, well, those would be the longest she held still.  This series is the firs time I’ve been able to truly catch a coyote.  Normally, they are on the run, too far away, or I’m so baffled that they are there that it takes me a second to realize it and by then it is just too late.

This is also the first time that I found myself in an animal.  That sounds weird, but I just can’t think of words I’d rather use.  This whole trip, I just kept waiting for that ah-ha, relishing moment that I’ve had on my other trips.  The first time was the deer on Little Devil’s Tower Trail, then the mountain goat, the buffalo that followed me.  Moments that just left me feeling light and airy, refreshed, hopeful.  I just hadn’t experienced it yet and honestly…I never really did, but this girl…I found I related with what I saw.

It was the fact that she was running endlessly, tirelessly, searching.   Maybe she knows why, maybe she doesn’t.  I’m sure she did.  In her case she was searching for food, fuel…I would think it would be safe to assume.  Me…I’m still searching for the fuel I think.  That is a story for another time, a cup of tea, and a conversation of deep and philosophical revelations.

I am not ready to share my favorite photos of her.  Just this one for now.  I did very minimal editing to it.  I needed to be minimal with it.  That is all I will say for now.  I hope that you like it.

Until the next time, I have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

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Off the Beaten Path

DSC_9824Hey, all!  I guess it has been quite some time since my last post.  I’ve sat down many times to do one, I’ve had the pictures to do so…I just haven’t had the heart for it.   I’ve tried to log on and read blogs, but I’ve failed at that too.  I guess that I just needed some time away.  I don’t really know why, just did.

With that said, I thought that I would start my post with this.  The first major DSLR picture that I did, that I really liked, was an old truck that was hidden off the beaten path in a park that I used to walk in Ohio.  This is not it and maybe I will dig through my files and find them but for now you get this car.  A car amongst the “ghost town” hidden in the Black Hills.  It was one of several old cars, so yes you will be seeing more…a lot more because for some reason I was fascinated with photographing old cars this trip.  I was fascinating with so many things.

I was obsessed with photographing to be honest.  I came back with a ridiculous amount of pictures. I know I have said that before, but this time….it puts all the rest to shame.  I am unable to clear off my SD cards because my laptop is out of space and so are the external hard drives I have on hand.  Before you say it, it is time for a new one and it is on the to do list but for now, the first set of pictures has been transferred so we will play with those for a while.

I will keep this blog relatively short.  I will be taking a different path with some of the future blogs.  As always, I’m not really sure what that means or really what that is going to look like.  I am hoping that it will be an improvement that you like what you see.  I appreciate anyone who has stuck around and those that are new.  You all rock and I hope you stay for the rest of the ride.

Some probably think that I should talk about what I did to the picture since this is a photography blog.  Those that have stayed know that really isn’t my thing.  I just take the pictures and then do what I need to do to make it something that I would like to share.  I added filters to this gem, because it was just not the scene I would have liked.

For this picture, I was in the Black Hills.  I had checked the weather before I left and it was supposed to be sunny and relatively nice.  Not overly warm but not cold either…well, the weather lied to me.  It ended up being in the low thirties and I was exploring the said ghost town, it started snowing.  Trip was already off to a great start.  I’ll save those stories for another day.

Since it was snowing, there was no sun and I was kind of in a realm of surrounding trees.  There was a car directly behind this and it just wasn’t easy to get the shot that I would envision for this car but I think that I made it work.  I used my kit lens 18-55, which I never-ever do.  I cannot remember the last time I intentionally used that lens, but it got it workout this trip.  Maybe too much….again, a story for another day.  I am really glad that I used that lens as it really worked for the environment that I had to work with.  Anyway, I pulled this up for editing and it just needed something that simple editing wasn’t going to do and with that, I added a few filters until I got the effect that I wanted.  I like the way that it turned out and I hope that you do to.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

Of Soft Mind

DSC_3984.jpgI am going to be a little passive aggressive here and I apologize in advance.  I say this,  because this post is in response to something that was commented on one of my other blog posts.   It was something of debate and instead of engaging and getting into some political debacle of ignorance, I have decided to not respond directly.  We know how I feel about discussing politics as a whole the way it is and so engaging in a conversation defending my stance in this particular case…it is just not something that I am prepared to do; especially, considering that I could see where this would be leading, which is exactly why I rarely discuss politics in polite company.

Now, I have already retyped this post once.  My original start was a little bit more defensive than I intended.  The truth is, this comment was well written.  Under a different time and place, maybe…just maybe there could be a discussion.  I don’t know this person and I’m sure that for a short period of time there is the possibility of having a mature and civil conversation. At least I would like to believe, but then again-maybe I am just soft-minded.

With that said, this particular comment was one that I had to read a couple of times to make sure that I was reading it correctly. If you are wondering what it said, you will not find it as I chose not to publish it.  That is the joy about being the owner of this blog, I get to do and say what I want .  Things like ignoring comments that stab at my instincts and engage me into combative defense to someone whom will probably not be as open to hearing my side as I want to believe.  Again, I do not know. I could be way off course, but my instincts went into flight mode, not because of fear but because I just didn’t want to.

The particular comment was made in response to my post about animals and humanity.  Apparently,  it is wrong of me to “conflate the terminology of animals and walls to being negative.”  And though I may have read too much into it, one of the beginning sentences was that this person found good people with soft minds hard to tolerate.  I read this to be that I was seen as having a soft mind because I didn’t feel that a race of people should be referred to as animals.  I wonder, am I of soft mind?  Or is that this person didn’t understand the context of the post that provoked the blog because he was only reading what I wrote?

Maybe I am of soft mind, but I know my mind and believe me that this is not the case.  I just believe that a little decency goes a long way, and that not calling an entire group of people animals just because of their ethnic background and status isn’t too much to ask.  Now, it is clear what side of the fence this person stood on AND (I can’t emphasize this enough) that is completely fine.  Whatever gets you fired up, but do not assume that I need to be pitied because I think referring to a group of people as animals is completely unnecessary and negative; especially, when the whole group have not given reason to be called so.   To best make my point, it is like calling a whole group of people racist because a few of them actually are.

With that said, do not assume that because I see a softer side of things that I do not believe in hardcore measures, or that I have a “soft mind”.  I am anything but gullible or foolish, or whatever was intended by said statement.  You should also not be foolish enough to think that I am all because I do not believe that you should refer to a race of people as animals.  I did not feel that it was necessary and I do find it negative in today’s world.   If that makes me soft minded, I guess so be it but for the record I actually have a lot of words for people, groups of people, and they are far from that of a soft mind.

And should said person stumble upon my blog again and feel the need to post similar comments.  Even harsher comments in attempts to get me to engage, please do not waste your time.  This passive aggressive post will be as far as communication between you and me go because your point of view is clear.  And though I respect your opinion and would think that on different circumstances we should engage in such topics of debate, it is just not something that I feel like doing in the present moment.  Also please do not confuse my opinions on name calling to my political point of view.  You do not know me and do not assume you know where I stand on any such topics.

To my regular followers.  Please forgive me. I needed to get it off my chest and it was much better than the 35 responses that I had previously typed up and deleted.

Montana Rose Photography

Over thinker….

dsc_7330It is no secret that I am an over-thinker.  Chronically so.  I am not sure that there is a good side to over thinking, but it isn’t always negative I suppose.

Today, someone at the gym had stumbled upon The Zoey Lynne Chronicles, which is a Facebook page that I created for my dog and our adventures.  People were enjoying them and encouraged me to create her own page for them.  With that said, so began The Zoey Lynne Chronicles.  Anyway,  he was telling me how he stumbled across them.  To make a long story short, it got me thinking….overthinking.

I have been thinking a lot about things I say and things I post.  Things I used to post.  Things that I do not want people to see because they no longer reflect who I am.  I meant them at the time and I am not anything if not one who owns her ****, but in today’s world our past **** can come back and haunt us because of the internet.  I am a nobody, but so the odds of someone digging up my past to break me down…well, it is probably not going to happen.  Just the same, though.  When I meet someone new or someone I have interacted with sends me a friend’s request or reads my blog, I cannot help but wonder how far back they are going to look and I start over thinking the things that I post.

I had pondered going back and deleting all my old post, even all my old blog post but then I started thinking….again.  What is it going to accomplish to go back and delete a bunch of old post that I now find embarrassing or might leave a fowl taste in someone’s mouth?  Honestly, nothing more than wasting my time.  I do not intentionally set out to offend anyone.  Well….maybe a few deserving idiots, but other than that it is not something that I tend to do purposely and I definitely try not to make  a habit out of it.

Those posts.  Those blog posts.  They are old.  Some are years old, but they also reflect and old me.  I have had temper tantrums. I have had dumb moments.  I have said things that make me feel foolish.  We could delve into the psychological reason for that, but we won’t.  Above all else, though, they have also been learning experiences or reminders of how I felt at that minute and the fact that I do not wish to feel that way again.  All of that sounds ridiculously cheesy and kind of makes me cringe, but just the same.

I will probably always over think things; especially, when it comes to talking to people or putting things out there for people to read.  I am just learning to care a little less about the outcome.  At least I’m trying to care a little less.  We all have those moments when we feel dumb for something we did or say.  We all have those moments where we realize that we probably should have chosen our words a bit more carefully.  We all cannot control how people perceive what we said or how they take it.  We cannot control what they choose to do with it or how they choose to continue with us.  It just is what it is and I’m too old to spend too much time continuously worrying about every little thing.  I am who I am and I can only hope that is good enough.  I am who I am because of who I used to be…isn’t that the case for all of us?

As for this little birdie.  It was the day after…that is not going to work.  Trying to explain all the little details of this picture.  I think that I’ve said this before, but the best pictures are the ones that I tend not to think about.  And this is one of them.  I don’t remember the settings. I could look them up, but I’m not going to.  I barely remember the conditions of the day.  It was cold and the bird was clearly in a tree, but not much more than that.  I was just walking around with the zone and the camera.  Just snapping whatever suited my fancy at the time.

I guess that is why I never truly address the “art” side of my photography.  I just kind of play around with the settings until I get the desired set and then in post I just see where the photo is at when uploaded and go from there.  Then I post them here and/or FB and Instagram and just hope for the best.  I try not to over think them.  When I do that I become unsatisfied and doubt my ability to provide something worthy.  So, this is what I’m doing for now…just hoping for the best.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

Reflections

dsc_0445 (2)bwI want to take this time to apologize, because I have had a moment of reflection.  My post the other day was a little deeper than I meant for it to be.  Possibly too much information?  I really only spoke the thoughts in my head at the time, but it caused a turn that I hadn’t really intended on taking.  So, I apologize.  I also felt that my post took away from the picture, which is a shame because the picture was pretty amazing in my opinion, but I digress.

Truth is, I’m not really in a funk, which is another phrase that I’m not a fan of but it is the only one to suit the need on hand.  Anyway, I’m really not.  It may have seemed that way, but I’m not.  I’m just…my mind is constantly running and trying to figure things out.

Photography doesn’t fit the same mold for me that it did when I started this blog post.  I wanted to make a business out of it and do people involved photos shoots (Head shots, family photos, weddings).  Part of me still does, but really only if.  There are just so many photographers, so many artist.  Not sure where I fit into the mold and so I think the whole trying to fit into the mold has gotten me lost and lost the a sense of what drove me in the first place.  I know that I’m not alone.  We have all been there and we all have our place.   I know all that as well.

It might be a bit of the lingering aftermath of 2018 that has my spurs all twisted up in tumbleweed.  All I am truly sure of is my goals for right now.  Over the next couple of months, I am hoping to successfully complete my bachelor’s degree as I’m in the final stages of that.  I am hoping to know by May whether I am accepted into a grad program for the fall.  Then I can truly start making steps towards goals and plans.

Each month barring ridiculously cold weather that annoys me, I’m hoping to start projects that I am wanting to do.  Get back into painting.  There are some things that I would like to try where that is concerned.  Some photography projects.  Some more writing.  And just revisiting my photography from a more centered place.

Everything needs to be from a more centered place, which means that I need to be more centered. For vacation this year I am thinking of taking two weeks and just hitting a few states before settling down for camping in South Dakota, or I might start out there.  I’m not sure.  There are some places that I want to see there that I’ve still yet to see.   Just being out in nature and getting right with my soul.

This also means that my blog will be undergoing changes.  I probably won’t be posting everyday as I originally planned.  Once a week for sure, maybe a couple of other times but not everyday.  I hope that you will stick around for the ride, but I know I’ve said it a hundred times over and hopefully this will be the year that things really do improve.

For now, I leave you with that and a picture of one of the original chairs from Poet’s Table.  These chairs are no more.  I think most may remember the story.  The Poet’s Table was originally built decades ago by a man looking to get right by his soul.  It had sat hidden in Custer State Park since the day he built it with hikers finding it upon occasion.  It became a place to leave wishes, prayers, writings, and whatever else to show you were there.  I discovered it last year when a fellow hiker took the time to show me where it was.  A few months later, a couple of girls took it upon themselves to destroy it because they felt that it was an eye sore that had become vandalized.  Kind of ironic in a way.  I’m not sure what happened to them.  I’m not sure they were prosecuted even though what they did was technically a crime since the table had long become part of the park.  Either way, good Samaritans built a new table and chairs that now sit in the same place as the old.  It will become something new, but what once was is long gone.  Years of people’s memories and stories gone, but that is a soapbox for another day.

I hope that you like this picture.  It is still one of my favorites.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

Humanity and Animals

DSC_7203.jpgI am not sure where I am going to go with this post to be honest.  I definitely have more faith in one than in the other.

Let me start by saying, I rarely discuss politics in polite company.  I have found it is a topic best reserved for those that you know and click with.  Most rarely have the ability to have a formidable, mature, and logical discussion on the topic.  We are out there, but it is hard for us to find each other.  With that said, I just keep my opinions to myself because the lot that I have to discuss things with….well, I would have better luck convincing a ticked off buffalo to not ram my car than I would to have a calm and collect conversation on political matters.  That excludes, of course, you all. I suspect most of you have a good head on your shoulders but as we don’t know each other in that way…the southern girl in me says “do not discuss politics in polite company.”  So, I try to stray from the matter.

Without delving deep into the topics of such matters,  I do have to say that I think the current administration has brought out the worst in people.  I think that the last administration started the rumbling, but this administration is the pin in the grenade that is about to slip out.  I believe it is all going to come to a head and it is going to be pleasant.  I just hope that it is not of apocalyptic results.

Anyway, the hottest topic is the wall.  I will not discuss it, but someone posted on FB today about the wall in the form of a meme.  This meme said, “You know why you can enjoy yourself at the zoo?  Walls work.”  The person that shared this meme added her own comment, “That’s right. Animals are animals.”  I was appalled at the fact that she referred to the immigrants as animals.

I know that we have often referred to bad people as animals, but in my opinion…the only animals are actual animals.  And the bad people….the ones often referred to as animals, well they are not animals at all.  They are monsters, but to refer to an entire group of people as animals merely because ultimately they scare us-that is not something that we should.  That is just, beyond words to me because it just wreaks of something that I cannot put my finger on.  Hatred. Intolerance.  Anger.  Fear even.

I am not sure how we can get past what is happen in our world.  Or how to get past the political BS when friends and family have shown me lights that I was not sure even possible.  It is sad that one man can cause such a division of the masses.  I figured we would destroy ourselves, but I still hope that I am wrong and that we can recover before it is too late.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

Standing on Top

dsc_5545I will spare you some cheesy, positive post today.  It is not that I do not have anything to say, but I will try and save you from burn out.

Thinking about the new year, I don’t know what it has in store for me.  I know what is on my wish list, but I have no real plans other than to survive it and to live it.  I will probably not do any major art shows like the one that I did last year.  I may do some smaller ones, but I think I would like to focus on adapting my photography and getting back to a place where I don’t question 95% of my pictures.

Doing huge shows take a lot of work.  A lot of money.  I would like to get some other things in order first.  Plus if i get into grad school, my time will be limited anyway.  One day at a time.  I have until May to decide for the one I did last year anyway.  My spot won’t be as good at this point, but it is okay. I have a lot of supportive people.  Some that I didn’t even know existed before.  It’s all good.

There are some photographic projects that I would like to do. I don’t know if I will.  Mainly because I am not sure how to execute them, but it is something that I am still thinking about.  For now, the same old pictures I always post….hope you don’t mind.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography