Tag Archive | Lost

The Coyote

DSC_5669It is not often that I follow an animal.  It is not often that I can say that I truly just sit, observe, and truly photograph an animal.  Most have read this story.  I posted it a little while back, but this beauty drew me in.  Running.  Relentlessly.  Tirelessly.  Hunting. Searching. Traveling.  She was on a mission and I couldn’t help but want to go with her.  If even for just a little bit.
DSC_5769Now some of the “activist” types will say that you shouldn’t follow.  You shouldn’t do this and you shouldn’t do that.  To you I politely say, “Pipe down.”  I followed her from a distance, she was on foot-I was not.  She was back and forth between the road and the fields, I was restricted to road access only.  She had plenty of space. Plenty of room. Plenty of “get away from people” land, she knew what she was doing.  It was not I that she was running from, she had another focus in mind.  I kept my distance to not oppose a threat. I was the furthest thing from her mind.
DSC_5750I had seen coyotes before, but always much further away.  Sometimes I had my camera. Sometimes I didn’t.  One time, I was confused about why someone was letting their dog roam free in Wind Cave.  Then I realized what it truly was and by that moment it was too late.  Never have I had this opportunity, so I wasn’t going to pass it by but at first I didn’t even know it was there to catch.
DSC_5765I only noticed her because another car was parked along side the road.  I learned sometime ago that if people were stopped, there was usually something to see.  And sure enough, there she was.  The other car gave up before I did.  That’s okay.  I had to her myself until I didn’t.

I actually had to turn around to follow her.  By this point she was off in the field and it was more of a “hope I catch her again” kind of moment.  It was too easy for to lose my line of vision.  So, I followed to the next turnout and I thought she was gone.  I couldn’t see her and had no idea where she was.  Little did I realize, she was behind me back towards the road.
DSC_5724I only discovered this when an RV pulled in.  I suspected they saw her, or something, so had I not turned to see what they were looking at I would have missed her.   Thank goodness for the touristy tourist and the gawkers.  I can always count on them to guide me to something that I might have missed.

This beauty hung out in the parking lot for quite some time.  Well, the field next to the parking lot.  Truth be told, I actually think that I gave up before she did.
DSC_5732She must of been hungry at this point, because she had found something to eat.  Lip licking good apparently.

I don’t know why I felt so inclined to spend so much time with her.  I did this multiple times through my trip.  Not just with her, but with a few moose and horses and burros.  Not the begging burros from Custer. I spent some time with them too, but there is a herd of wild burros hidden in the canyons of Utah.  I’ll save them for another day.

DSC_5699Anyway, back to this beauty.  I honestly do not know how long I sat there just watching her and photographing her.  I actually got a little lost in the moment.  I could take a million guesses as to why, but thinking back now…I really don’t know what it was.

I know that it was discussed in my original blog, but just the same.  Maybe she really was my spirit animal and that is why I was so drawn to her.  How is that for some sappy rambling?
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What I do know is that I walked away with so many pictures that it was hard to narrow it down to which ones to share.  I probably still chose too many, but I mean look at her.  Look at them.  Not only is she just so incredibly beautiful….I got some amazing shots.  How often do I say that?  Even I amazed myself with this one.  A lot of the photos from this trip actually.  Not sure what happened there.  Maybe I’ve improved that much or maybe it was just me getting lost in the moment.  I’m not really sure, but I am loving so many of the shots that I’ve yet to share.  We’ll get there.

Did I mention that I have an insane amount to get through?
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With all that rambling aside, I hope that you love these pictures as much as I do because it is not always often that I say I love a series of pictures but these are print worthy.
DSC_5789Live, laugh, love and let it ride.

Montana Rose Photography

Through Grandma’s Eyes

DSC_6475Eyes in wonder of a mind long lost to the consequences of time.  That is what I see when I look in my grandmother’s eyes.  A mind in turmoil.  Saddened.  Lost.  Confused.  Scared.  Sometimes at peace and sometimes filled with anger.  All the stages that someone with Alzheimer’s go through.  At least I reckon so.

We don’t honestly know what goes on in someone’s mind.  Not when they are lucid so definitely not when the sands of time have taken their toll.

I wonder what is behind these eyes.  Is she trapped in a world where she knows what is going on but cannot break through?  Something similar to “Locked in” syndrome.  Is she just as lost in her own mind as much as she appears to be?  Does she know that her mind is fading?  Did she know?

It would seem her days of knowing us at all have completely gone.  She still seems to recognize my grandpa, or at least has an idea of his importance to her.  She is often concerned about him getting in trouble. When I am there, she’s constantly telling him that he needs to get home, or that he needs to get to bed.  That he shouldn’t be up there.  We laugh, but I know we all hold our sadness.  The mind of a woman we love is long gone from the woman we knew.

My grandpa still sits with her ever day.  I would expect no less.  They have been married for almost 70 years.  Fools tell him he needs a break.  He probably does, but the love of his life is not at home, she is there-in a nursing home.  One that should be reprimanded for many of reasons.  He is there because she is there.  He is there to make sure she is taken care of…the way that it should be.  I would want that.  And again, I would expect no less from the man I call grandpa.

I took these pictures yesterday.  I did what I consider heavy editing.  I wanted them to reflect the sadness, the loss, the emptiness, and yet…the beauty I see when I look at them. I hope that I was able to portray that in these photos.  Most importantly, I hope that you like them too.  DSC_6476
Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography