Tag Archive | general

What I Want….

DSC_0487 (2)“What I want…what I want is a really good man…Mighty, mighty good man ” or  we could go with…”What I want, What I want, What I really-really want.”   Actually, no, let’s seriously not go with the last one. I’d rather go around singing the first one.  Well..that’s not true…I’m much more of a country music girl than I was when those first came out and I’d rather not sing either one of them, but I digress.  Mainly, because I also forgot where I was going with that.

As far as this picture, like so many before it, just wouldn’t do what I wanted it to do. Yet, that could be because I’m not quite sure what I wanted it to do.

I was just kind of messing around in Photoshop. Just messing with photos trying to give them something that they didn’t already have.  It just wasn’t working out, though.  I’m cool with it.  This one didn’t turn out all that bad.  The heavy cloud, low to the ground, and only shading the area it was covering.  It works.  I think…maybe?  Possibly?

It kind of made me think of life and what I want…mainly what I don’t want and how things never go as we want them too, but I will spare you the details.  They’re really not important.  You see, I’ll be celebrating my fifteenth 24th birthday in a couple of weeks.  Things are different this year.  I’m cool with it. I’m changing..for the better and people are seeing it.  I’m positive about the future. Excited to see what it has in store.  Bring it on.

I hope you enjoy the picture and that you have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

The Shoes

DSC_0015I had a longer post, but I’ve decided against it.  I have been doing that a lot lately.

The Shoes…they are not so much shoes as much as they are ballet slippers.  That was an adventure that I was supposed to start today.  Beginner Ballet.  It is probably odd. A girl of my age taking ballet after all of these years, but I’m all about the new.  Besides we’re never too old to try new things, right?

The ballet path actually didn’t work out and has been put on hold, but I’m keeping the shoes to keep me motivated.  I’m in the mode for new adventures and paths. It’s time to do things a little differently and to live a little differently.  I won’t lie…I’m not sure what this means for my current paths or old paths.  It just has me thinking a lot.

I hope you have a beautiful day and tomorrow.
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Montana Rose Photography

So Late

DSC_0953 (2)It is so late.  Probably way too late to post a blog.  I actually hadn’t planned on posting anything, but I keep thinking about consistency and successful blogs.

My blog has probably lost its original purpose.  Actually, that probably isn’t the right word.  Its intent was my photography, but also my writing and I know the tone of my blog has been off lately.  It has probably been off for a while.  I’m working on that.

I need some fresh material. Newer material.  I’m going to be working on that over the next few weeks.  I will still be posting pictures from my trips in May and July, but I want to throw in some new material.  This particular picture is from Wyoming.  I’m not sure what it is exactly.  It was just sitting at one of the “scenic” stops and I thought it looked neat.

I’m also starting yet another new adventure on Sunday. I’m excited about it.  Thankfully, though, it will come at a price…it is not as costly as some of my other habits.  I’ll share more about it upon my actual experience to see how I like it.

I’m also going to get back into writing.  I constantly have stories a brewing in my head and never do anything about that.  It’s time that changed, but for now…it is late and I have a busy weekend ahead.  It is the first weekend in quite a while I have had things to do Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Oh my…let’s do this.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

By the Light

704645_434835486582127_210644437_oI decided to post one more throwback. It won’t be the last. At this point…a lot of them are throwbacks, but this is a throwback from before 2015. Pre-Montana Rose.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

Wyoming

DSC_0022 (3) I haven’t actually talked a lot about my trip itself.  I mean, I have but I haven’t.  Not sure why.  Maybe because I’m still unsure as to what I think about it. It is a little hard to explain.

This was a trip that was not planned.  At least not this exact trip.  I had taken some time off from work (my “pays the bills” job), because I was reaching my limitations.  Lacking my ability to maintain control over the mechanism that controls the filter between my brain and mouth.  When I get like that…it is best to take a day or two off in order to reset.  I think that we’ve all been there.

I knew that I wanted to do something those days, but I was unsure as to what it was.  I knew that I wanted to go camping, but I didn’t know where.  I had my ideas, but I also knew that finances wouldn’t allow for anything overly far or extravagant.  My original plan was Pictured Rocks in Michigan.  It looks interesting and I may still make my way there, but it did not happen this time.  I just wasn’t feeling it.  Then I was going to go to Glacier National Park in Montana…would make sense wouldn’t it?  For some reason, I just wasn’t feeling that either.  The drive, the time allotment, the mileage, the gas money, and it just didn’t feel right.  So, how did I end up in Wyoming?  Good question.

I was having a really bad day. I didn’t get off work on time, which confirmed Montana was out. I didn’t have anything prepared for any kind of trip. People were getting on my nerves.  It was now Saturday and I had lost 24 hours.  It was just one of those days (or number of days) when nothing was working out right.  Then I got sucked into Facebook with its negativity and  I saw a picture for Grand Teton National Park.  Next thing I know, it was three hours later and the zone and I were on our way.  I’ve never done that kind of thing before.

I’ve never really been the type of person to just spontaneously take off on a seemingly major road trip; especially, one that is over a good day’s drive.  One where I would only have a day or two before I would have to turn around and come back.  I always think things through. I weigh all my options. Take finances into consideration. I plan it out to the best of my ability with the understanding that things do not always go as plan. Still, I’m always cautious and careful.  This time, I was not. I just threw caution to the wind and went in with blindness and selfishness.

It is still a little surreal to me that I went.  One, because I did it spontaneously and two…because I did it spontaneously.  Also, just being there and seeing everything. The mountains, the clouds, the sky, the wildlife.  I know that sounds silly, but having been sucked into the Midwest for so long…the clouds and sky were just different in Wyoming.  The air was different. Anyone whom has traveled anywhere different from what they are use to….well, you know what I’m talking about.

It feels a bit like a dream. I guess, because I know that if I had planned it….truth is, that trip never ever would have happened.  I over-think things…A LOT. I always find some reason to not do something.  I think that is why I’m still in this state.  At my “pays the bills” job.  Holding on to bridges that probably should have been burned.  I think and think and think and over-think until I talk myself out of it.  I have got to stop doing that, because it is clear what kind of opportunities and experiences I may be missing out on.

I’m definitely glad that I took this trip. I’m not sure that I accomplished all the clear-headedness that I was wanting to achieve.  I was short on time and never got a chance to get some decent sleep in, but just the same.  I’m glad that I went.  I may be paying the consequences for making spontaneous and slightly careless decisions.  Still, had I not gone….I would not know for sure what I know now.  That is that I really do need to start being more spontaneous and not just thinking it.  Sometimes, we just need to shut off our brains and throw caution to the wind and maybe even let go of the rope.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

DSC_0028 (3)Live, laugh, love, and let it ride.

Montana Rose Photography

Meeting of the Bucks

DSC_0364A pile of out-state-plates lined both sides of the busy road.  I knew there was something to see.  I do not tend to follow the masses, but when there is wildlife at stake….well, I tend to at least see how close to the edge the crowd is standing. 

There started out only being a few pairs of horns.  Standing on a hill and minding their own.  Just grazing away. 
DSC_0294I’m still not sure what I think of elk.  They’re an interesting set of creatures.  I’ve just never really given them much thought.  I believe I said in another post, I guess I just never really thought I’d ever see anything of the sort.  Taking spontaneous trips has its perks. 

As these three stood there, their demeanor changed and eventually the started heading down the field at a rapid pace.  About the same time a baby antelope walked onto the field.  He is not pictured and he may have been deer.  I was looking at pictures and it appears that baby antelopes look a bit like baby deer.  He was just as fast as either.  Antelope had graced most of my remaining drive through those Wyoming back roads.  Fast little devils they are.  Anyway….as the three  boys made their way down the hill.  A mass compilation of horns came out of the woods.  (The pictures are a bit misleading, but I assure you that the majority of them had horns. Some much bigger than others).

DSC_0336  DSC_0344I am not sure if it was some territorial dispute.  Boys being boys or what was going on, but two of the biggest horns from both sides locked horns a couple of times. Unfortunately, those pictures didn’t come out as well.  The only thing that is worse than my ability to manual focus under stress is my ability to see well enough to manual focus when it starts getting dark.  Consequences of sitting to close to the TV or getting old….whichever. 

I did get some shots worth sharing. I hope you think so too.  Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

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Montana Rose Photography

Oh, Controversy

Normally, I try to stray away from controversy.  It is amazing that age can have that effect on a person. I mean when I was younger, I was all about making a stand and charging the masses with my controversial opinion.  These days…not so much.  Never discuss politics in polite company.  I’m not always good about that, but sometimes you just get pushed past the point of return on some subjects.  Either way, I’m better about it than I use to be.

Sorry for the quality. I actually took this one with my phone.

Sorry for the quality. I actually took this one with my phone.

When I first saw this sign, I was intrigued.  I had seen several monuments at Gettysburg by that point and it was the first time I could recall actually seeing this sign.  I would like to say that it took forever for me to figure out why this sign was in front of this particular monument and not others, but that would be lie.  Truth be told, I wasn’t at all surprised. Just surprised that we are still in age where this is an issue.  That shouldn’t surprise me either, though.

DSC_0772Good Ole General Lee upon Traveller standing high above his troops.  The Virginia Monument.  Now, I’m not about to take sides. I’m not about to get upon my soapbox (and it is overflowing).  I’m not going to give a history lesson. I’m not going to preach. I’m not going to open this up for political debate.

Truth be told, I’ve been procrastinating on posting these pictures.  To post pictures of a controversial man. To post pictures of Confederate monuments.  The audacity.  I can hear the critics now.

I find this to be a shame.  I’m a Civil War girl.  I’m a battlefield girl and I have so many pictures.  I should be able to share those without there being some hidden agenda.  Without there being some indication as to what side of the fence I stand on.  Truth be told, if you haven’t figured it out yet….I never stand on one side over the other.

The fence.  Sides of the fence.  Pick a side.  Please.  I’m usually the girl who finds the post in the middle.  I then stand upon that post perched like a bird shaking her head at the ridiculousness that arises from taking one side over the other.  There are always two sides to each story.  There is always controversy revolving around those stories.  For this reason, I like to know both sides before I step down from upon my perch to pick a side and join the masses.  That is if I choose to join the masses, but considering whom usually ends up talking for the masses…I tend to just stay upon my perch.

Then yesterday, I felt the southern girl pride come out or just the girl who has had enough of this ridiculous controversy and BS. It got a little bit harder to keep my mouth shut.

The Dukes of Hazzard being removed from TV Land  and other stations because of the General Lee… A CAR.  Yes, a car that dons the bars and stripes on the roof top, but a car in an iconic television show none-the-less.   One that I grew up watching. One that I still watch when I can.

A show that is hardly racist and probably one of the few shows from that era that didn’t have those hidden quips of racial stereotyping.  A TV Show, A Car. One that you watch and can realize in a minute that the General Lee had nothing to do with slavery, racism, or much else pertaining to the ignorance that arose from the Civil War . It’s a car, people.

The Duke Boys’ reason for the General Lee is a simple and traditional one, but I digress.  Now, I’m going to step down off that soapbox, because if I don’t we’ll be here forever.  I will say, though, enough is enough already. We are starting to cross a line.

DSC_0758I look at the photo above and I do fight the urge to put in my two cents.  A friend and I had a long conversation about it yesterday and I get it. I do.  This is a monument, though.  It represents what you want it to represent.  There are so many sides to every story.  What once was and what now is….are not necessarily on the same page.  Things now are now and not what it once was nor what it was necessarily meant to be.  Monuments, flags…the flag (you know which one)….they did not begin with what they became.  That was all the result of people doing all the wrong the things and going about making their stands all kinds of the wrong way.

Now in attempts to repair the past, we’re not doing such a good job at repairing the now.  Just sayin’.

I have other pictures from Gettysburg and I will be posting them.  They will not be General Lee, but when I go to battlefields, I respect both sides of the line.  Have a beautiful day.

DSC_0778Montana Rose Photography

End of the Boardwalk

DSC_0105 (4)I am seriously a very, very restless soul.  It seems like I’m constantly standing on a boardwalk and wondering what is at the end of it.  I’m always wanting to just pack the car, load up the dog, and hit the road.  Go until I cannot go anymore. Go until I find the one place that finally feels like I belong. Always searching.

I just never really seem to find the end of the boardwalk.  There is always something. Always a reason why I have to stop. Always a reason why I cannot keep going.  A reason why I have to wait.  If I could make a living off of adventuring, I’d be gone.  I think a lot of people would be.

It is funny how life turns out.  How there always seems to be that rut. That pit stop that seems to last forever. I’m no fool. I  know these things happen for a reason. Everything always happens for a reason. That is if you believe in that kind of thing.  I do. More than I like to admit most of the time, but  I do.

This was a pit stop.  Living in this city. It wasn’t supposed to last as long as it has, but I am glad it has.  I’m definitely a stronger and better person than I was seven years ago.  I’ve gotten to explore and experience things I would not have had the chance otherwise.  Meet people who I probably never would have met (I mean besides the “friends” and “associates” I’ve met here).   I’ve learned what I’m no longer willing to tolerate. Who I really am or at least who I think I am.  Things that I would have figured out eventually, but things that I figured out a lot quicker from being at this pit stop.

Despite the fact that I get the point, I’m constantly staring at the end of the boardwalk and wondering where it goes. Anxiously waiting for my chance to finally meet the end.  I know I’m not alone, others may just not be as long.

Montana Rose Photography

End of a Chapter

DSC_0030I am not really posting these pictures to show off my mad photography skills, which seemed to be a little lack luster over the weekend.  I am posting this particular set of photos, because they symbolize the end of a chapter.  That might actually be giving them too much credit. Still, they are from a chapter that officially ended last week and as I’ve been attempting to close some other chapters that are long over due on the closing level…today they symbolize the end of a chapter….hopefully, many chapters.

DSC_0037These photos are from the photo shoot that I did a few weeks ago.  Most of my followers know what kind of experience that ended up being.  I’m not bitter about it.  It ended up being a lesson in things that I had long tried to ignore and a lesson in things that I hadn’t given much thought to.  I always try to be the utmost accommodating and continuously giving people the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, that is often misplaced and ends up scuffing my boots.  Not to mention that some things just should not be that difficult.

These will be the only photos from that shoot that  I post.  Not that the others were terrible, but that it is a chapter that is closed and I’m better off for it.  Some people just do not like realizing that they are not going to be able to play games to get what they want.  Terms were set and the end result was her going with another photographer for future endeavors.  I’m good with that.

Taking a stand and learning how passionate I was about my photography….it sparked something that inspired me to start working on other chapters of my life that had been open for way, way too long.   First loves die-hard and that is all that I will say about that.

So, I forgot where I was going with all that.  Train of thought has derailed.  It has been a stressful morning already as I should actually be working at my “actually pays the bills job”, but cannot due to system issues and waiting on IT to get back to me.  Another chapter of my life that is way past its prime. Anyway, I don’t know what tomorrow brings. I guess we never truly do on the deeper sense of things.  I mean we know the set in stone parts of our days. The getting up, going to work, clocking out, coming home, and doing whatever we need to do then.  We just do not know what little surprises the day has in store for us.  For the most part, I’m good with that.

Still, one thing I need to post on my fridge….closing chapters really is a good thing sometimes.  It is also highly, highly recommended on occasion.  We cannot start a new chapter if we haven’t finished the last.  I am pretty sure that everyone knows that, but sometimes I’m a little slower than the rest. I like things on my terms and I’m as stubborn as an old bull sitting out in pasture when it comes to change sometimes.  I come to graze when I want to.

DSC_0039Have a beautiful day no matter what it brings.

Montana Rose Photography

The Beast

I wasn’t looking her when I walked into that dog kennel.  I was there to see another beast in need. 
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It was a warm spring day and I had been eying this yellow thing online.  He was a beast by definition and puppy at that.  Great Dane and pit bull mix. Sweet as sweet can be, but I lived in an apartment as well as I had no upper body strength at the time.  He could have overpowered me in a heartbeat had he wanted to.  I’d soon realize we weren’t for each other. 

I think that moment was helped into my mind as I was waiting for the aide to bring him to me.  I was looking around at the other babies in need.  Standing in this area with some cages and half enclosures, I was waiting by the door when this wet nose touched my elbow. I turned to see these big brown eyes staring up at me.  Her white fur with her random black markings.  There was something about her. 

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I’d take her home that night.  $40 and she was mine. We hit the ground running. She was always making me laugh.  She was a nut. I was hers and we were inseparable.

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We’d hit our bumps as she had been given up twice.  Consequences of not liking other dogs nor little kids.  I’d often ponder giving her away.  One time I even tried. It lasted a week and I took her back.  We made it work for 9 and a half years.

She had to be in my sight.  If I moved, she moved. No matter my mood, she loved me.  I probably didn’t deserve that, but she did.  Every day, every moment. Even when I was mean.  My patience and my temper often got the best of me in my younger days.  Still, I could not give her up. 

I never really was the kind, at that time, that thought a person and a dog could be so attached.  Then the day would come when I realized how possible that actually was.

My first trip to the beach was a year ago.  She wasn’t to go with me, but circumstances changed that.  I am glad now that this is how it played out.  I wish I’d changed my ways sooner. 

As we sat on the beach, she was so tired and so beat.  I wanted to chalk it up to stress and maybe it was.  I wanted to blame the blistering heat and sun…maybe it was, but even that day I knew.  Her black spots had grown so gray. Her steps were not as swift.  Her desire to play had diminished.  Her and I knew her time was limited. 
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I wasn’t sure how much time she really had left. An emergency vet had told me two years earlier there was a possibility she was suffering from cancer.  Still she defied the odds and I found an amazing vet that fixed her up as it ended up not being cancer at all.  At least not at that time. 

It happened so fast. One day, five months after that day on the beach, she’d just stop eating.  She barely moved, would often get confused, and the spot under the bed was her favorite place to be. I struggled all week.  The vet said it was inevitable. Surgery would be worse than the disease.

That last night, I slept on the floor with her so she could lay by me one last time.  She stayed by my side the whole time.  When I woke to her falling down, I knew she had made the decision I had been struggling with.  She could not stand at all and just continued to fall.  I made the call.

As we awaited our appointment, I laid by her one last time and she touched my elbow with her nose.  Her way of saying goodbye. The same way she said hello.  Rip, Ramsey.  Love you, baby girl.
  10448408_10152175739970998_8026092768942373460_o(1)Montana Rose Photography