I have wondered a lot about my blog. What I should write and what I shouldn’t write. The more I write, sometimes, the more a good picture gets overlooked. It could simply be the curse of WordPress, lack of posting, and what not…honestly, I do not know. But I wonder about it.
I also wonder about my photography style and the fact that I don’t really seem to have one. For those that have followed faithfully, I’m sure that this is a topic that I have touched on before. It feels different now. I don’t know if it is the COVID quarantine curse, or my age. Either way, this feels different. It could be my current perspective on life, my life.
I have realized that there are two ways of looking at life. We either see our years as wasted and that we are running out of time, or we view it has we all these years left to live. That was worded better, three hours ago when I originally thought of it. The point is, I’ve found that instead of seeing my life as I have all these years left to live….I find myself focusing more on the fact that I’ve wasted so many year and now they are winding away-faster and faster each day. I know, that is a negative thing to say.
Here’s a shocker, I’ve seen taken a break and forgot where I was going with that. Style. Someone I have done photos for in the past put out on FB that they were looking for recommendations for a photographer. I tried not to take this personally, but it did hurt a bit that I wasn’t their first though; especially, since both of us are still local. I know that I do not necessarily have experience in this particular area they are needing, but that is because occasion has never risen to give me the opportunity. I just don’t get that many chances to actually photograph people. And as previously discussed, multiple times, people skills is an area that I need improvement in. I get it, I do but when satisfied customers look elsewhere-it makes you wonder what you did wrong (when you know they have chosen to go elsewhere).
That is what made me start thinking about my style, and seriously lack of people skills. I kind of realize that I don’t really have a style. I don’t have one particular thing that I really focus on and how the picture turns out…well, that depends on the picture and what it says to me at the time. That sounds a little unrefined. Cheesy. I just really couldn’t think of a better word for it.
It’s a little funny now, thinking about my photography. The business side has always rusted my spurs. I’ve never really considered myself an actual photographer, people keep telling me that I am and so I just kind of go with it. I have really always thought that I’m just a girl with a camera that gets lucky with shots every now and then. Then I get sad about something someone said, or that they want to go with a different photographer for whatever reason, and I think that I should just hang up my cameras. Apparently, this is where my not following through with things is kind of a good thing. I keep at it. Even when I’m more than ready to just say the hell with it.
I don’t really know why I stick with it. I don’t know that it will ever be the success that I envision, there are countless photographers (even in a town that isn’t really all that big at the end of the day). I don’t have any particular style and I definitely do not have one that will make me standout above others. I just don’t have that gift in photography or personable. I’m coming to terms with it. I’m a minnow in a lake full of catfish and have just managed to fly far enough under the radar that I don’t get caught, or eaten. It is what it is. So, why do I keep doing it?
Probably the same reason that I keep writing even though it never goes anywhere. I always hold out for that hope and I really just like doing it. I guess, in the end, that is really all that matters. My very expensive hobby and my very rusty hobby that sometimes results in a moment that makes me think I can do this. Probably foolish, but I am always and forever a dreamer.
The picture I played with. It was a semi-focused picture of the only flowers that I’ve managed to buy that the geese and squirrels have not torn apart. I have some presets that I played around and this is the result of me being bored and editing the mess out of it. This is the version that I was most satisfied with. I hope that you like it just a bit too.
Live, laugh, love, and let it ride.
~SMH, Montana Rose Photography~