I have sat down to write a blog post close to a hundred times. I type it and then change my mind over and over again.
I have sat down to write a blog post a handful of times. Typed it up, posted it, and then deleted it. I say a handful of times, but it is more times than I can actually count.
I could analyze the reasons, but the truth is….I just haven’t been into it. I have lost my voice because I have become more and more concerned about what I say. What words I will use, what tone it will have, how it will be perceived, do I want that out there, will be judge me, and a million other thoughts. It is a case of overthinking, but it is also a case of someone who has been turned into a wallflower.
Like most people these days, I have been reflecting on my life. I am actually always doing that, but it seems more so than normal. I could blame the virus and “stay-at-home” orders, but honestly-my life hasn’t changed much. I still work, I still go to feed horses (because they need to eat too), and then I come home. For me, the only difference is…I have nowhere to go when I do want to get and go somewhere. I have a even less contact with people then before and it has opened up some doors….of the mind.
I won’t delve into that. I think that I wanted to. That was my intent when I started this piece, but now that I am this far (and got distracted with a work call)….well, I’ve actually forgotten what I wanted to say and how I wanted to go about it. That has been another problem of mine. I’ve become so easily distracted with anything that isn’t thinking. My mind and body are overwhelmed. I think a lot of us are in that arena, for different reasons.
With that said, I hope that you like the picture. I wanted to post a picture that went with what I wanted to say, but I’m also realizing that becomes an unrealistic goal. A topic for another day. Anyway, this picture was taken with my new-used camera. Still Nikon, but this is a D750 which is an upgrade from my D7100. Was it an choice to upgrade and purchase another camera? Yes and no. My D7100 broke….again. The same issue as the first two times. Yes, twice before…same issue. My fault, but having it fixed becomes a bit more expensive each time. Super aggravating, even if it is my fault because I have never had that issue with my other Nikon and even the woman at the camera shot found this particular issue very peculiar that this is even an issue I have.
I saw with it for a bit and struggled with it, but it just became the most logical decision. Or maybe I just wanted it to be because I wanted a camera that wasn’t one of the two I already had. Once I bought my D7100, it became my go-to over my other one (D5300, I think…be honest, it rarely gets used). I loved that camera. So, when it broke again…I weighed whether or not it was truly worth fixing…again. I decided for now that it wasn’t, but I also didn’t want to be stuck with my D5300. It’s a good enough camera, but I’ve already had a taste of not using it and I find it hard to go back to those specs.
I knew that fixing my D7100 would be more expensive, because it goes up each time. I also figured that I could get a new one for what it would cost to fix it….I was wrong. I could buy a used one for what it would cost to fix it, but then that just seemed like a ridiculous move. Why buy a used one for the same price that I could just fix the one I had. The one that I already know what kind of life it has lived. That is when I decided to explore my options of upgrading. Even used without the accessories, the camera body was more than what it would have cost to fix my other one, but I am happy with my decision. I’ve only used it a handful of times so far, but I’m loving the upgrade. Eventually, I may get the other one fixed and use it as a backup, but for now …it will collect dust.
I’ve written longer than I intended without any real topic, so I’m going to call it a day. I really hope that you like the photo. The reflection is of nothing particular, but I was excited that I was able to catch the reflection. I’ve only managed that one other time and that was on Ms. Gordy. This is Duder and I think I was even more excited that he stood still long enough for me to catch it. Gypsy Vanners (or just any horse that knows you tend to have cookies in your pocket), what can you do?
Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.
~SMH, Montana Rose Photography~