Rise…

DSC_3716bwI don’t really know if we can at this point.  The world, the states….we are crashing.  With due reasoning, but we are crashing.

A couple of weeks ago, my fear was just losing my job.  Now, a new virus threatening the existence of humans.  I do not tend to react the way that most people would want, or necessarily the way that I should; however, even I am growing a bit concerned.

A few weeks ago, my concern was Him.  He who holds a seat that he never should have been given.  My fear was the implications of another four years.  Now, a virus that is spreading.

I refuse to give into the panic of it all, which some consider flippant.  That is not at all the case.  Just because I do not react the way that you do, it doesn’t mean that I am not concerned.  It does not mean that I am not thinking about it, or the implications of catching it.  The implication of too many people catching it and ending up in quarantine.

I have questions.  We all have questions.  Questions that are not being answered.  Questions in which there are too many answers, too many conflicting answers.  Questions in which there are no answers.

I am relatively healthy.  Outside of a few aches and pains, the occasional tension headache…me getting sick.  It is rare.  I catch a cold once every couple of years.  I haven’t gotten the flu in years.  I have no heart issues. I do not have diabetes or high cholesterol, but the truth is….I’m not as young as I use to be and in the wake of all the chaos of this new virus…I’ve developed a scratchy throat and a stuffy nose.  If I believe what I read, it is not the virus at hand.  These are not common symptoms, there are no known cases in my area and I already have a very limited interaction with people but it is still in the back of my mind.

I am selfish.  It is not getting sick that worries me.  I want to believe I am healthy enough to survive it, but I do fear the implications of it all.  There are things that I want to do.  Vacations that I wanted to take.  I am supposed to travel to Ohio next month to photograph a wedding.  There are things that I want to accomplish.  Things that are all at risk between this new health risk and the continued risk of losing my job (since there are still two more rounds of lay-offs coming).  My security is being threatened.  My safety net torn.  I think this is where a lot of  us are at.

My fear is also people’s reactions to this potential threat.  If we can even continue to call it a potential threat.  I mean, it’s here….we just do not know to what extent.  We are at the mercy of media and conflicting reports.  Still, my fear is the people.  People do not react well when they are scared.  People lose all common sense and what lingering respect they had for the sake of others.  My fear is people becoming the thing to fear the most.

We are at a point in our lives when I wish that things really were like they are in the movies.  The guy photographed above,  he would be teaching his troop sign language and planning the uprising of apes.  (He’s a gorilla, calm down…I am aware of this fact).    I would help the apes in a heartbeat, assuming that I was immune to the ape flu that wiped out humane.  Strangely that is something else that I worry about, should our world shut down…what happens to them.  The animals that have come so dependent on us to take care of them.  There are so many consequences.

I know that I should be worried about humans, but I worry about both.  My grandmother is in a nursing home.  Neither she nor my grandpa are in good health.  I am scared across the board.

I am rambling at this point.  I have so many thoughts.  The guy above, he’s Mshindi and he calls the Cincinnati Zoo home.  I have mixed feelings about that, but it is all he has ever known.  He was born and raised in zoos.  Some life.  30 plus years in captivity.  I could go into a soapbox about that, but I won’t.  He is a captivating beast and if it wasn’t for zoos, I may never get to see creatures like him in real life.

I hope that we are able to rise above this and this virus will fade with the seasons and that by the time it returns at full strength, that they have found some kind of vaccine either to help cure it or at least prevent it.  I am hoping that we can return to some level of normalcy.  I don’t know if that is possible, but I am hoping.

~SMH, Montana Rose Photography~

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