It is no secret that I am an over-thinker. Chronically so. I am not sure that there is a good side to over thinking, but it isn’t always negative I suppose.
Today, someone at the gym had stumbled upon The Zoey Lynne Chronicles, which is a Facebook page that I created for my dog and our adventures. People were enjoying them and encouraged me to create her own page for them. With that said, so began The Zoey Lynne Chronicles. Anyway, he was telling me how he stumbled across them. To make a long story short, it got me thinking….overthinking.
I have been thinking a lot about things I say and things I post. Things I used to post. Things that I do not want people to see because they no longer reflect who I am. I meant them at the time and I am not anything if not one who owns her ****, but in today’s world our past **** can come back and haunt us because of the internet. I am a nobody, but so the odds of someone digging up my past to break me down…well, it is probably not going to happen. Just the same, though. When I meet someone new or someone I have interacted with sends me a friend’s request or reads my blog, I cannot help but wonder how far back they are going to look and I start over thinking the things that I post.
I had pondered going back and deleting all my old post, even all my old blog post but then I started thinking….again. What is it going to accomplish to go back and delete a bunch of old post that I now find embarrassing or might leave a fowl taste in someone’s mouth? Honestly, nothing more than wasting my time. I do not intentionally set out to offend anyone. Well….maybe a few deserving idiots, but other than that it is not something that I tend to do purposely and I definitely try not to make a habit out of it.
Those posts. Those blog posts. They are old. Some are years old, but they also reflect and old me. I have had temper tantrums. I have had dumb moments. I have said things that make me feel foolish. We could delve into the psychological reason for that, but we won’t. Above all else, though, they have also been learning experiences or reminders of how I felt at that minute and the fact that I do not wish to feel that way again. All of that sounds ridiculously cheesy and kind of makes me cringe, but just the same.
I will probably always over think things; especially, when it comes to talking to people or putting things out there for people to read. I am just learning to care a little less about the outcome. At least I’m trying to care a little less. We all have those moments when we feel dumb for something we did or say. We all have those moments where we realize that we probably should have chosen our words a bit more carefully. We all cannot control how people perceive what we said or how they take it. We cannot control what they choose to do with it or how they choose to continue with us. It just is what it is and I’m too old to spend too much time continuously worrying about every little thing. I am who I am and I can only hope that is good enough. I am who I am because of who I used to be…isn’t that the case for all of us?
As for this little birdie. It was the day after…that is not going to work. Trying to explain all the little details of this picture. I think that I’ve said this before, but the best pictures are the ones that I tend not to think about. And this is one of them. I don’t remember the settings. I could look them up, but I’m not going to. I barely remember the conditions of the day. It was cold and the bird was clearly in a tree, but not much more than that. I was just walking around with the zone and the camera. Just snapping whatever suited my fancy at the time.
I guess that is why I never truly address the “art” side of my photography. I just kind of play around with the settings until I get the desired set and then in post I just see where the photo is at when uploaded and go from there. Then I post them here and/or FB and Instagram and just hope for the best. I try not to over think them. When I do that I become unsatisfied and doubt my ability to provide something worthy. So, this is what I’m doing for now…just hoping for the best.
Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.
Montana Rose Photography