Archive | March 2018

Never Easy

DSC_0900Just after 10pm, the news that was expected for years finally came.  It has been over a decade since the initial diagnosis.  Seems like forever, doesn’t it?  Every year, there was news…rarely ever good news.  The cancer was here and now it is there.  The chemo is not working. The radiation is not working.  Then there was hope and then it was dashed.  A roller coaster for well over 10 years. So this day should not have been any surprise. But then there was a blood clot.   DSC_09152A blood cot. How is that for an ironic twist?  The man lived with cancer for over 10 years only to be taken to his bed by a blood clot.  One that they could not get to because of the cancer.  Yeah…Was it the blood clot?  Was it the cancer? Truth is, it was probably both.  Now it does not matter, my uncle is gone.  DSC_0914Even though I knew this day was coming, it doesn’t make it any easier.  And for the first time, I really don’t know what I should say.  What do you say to your dad whom just lost his brother?  Your grandpa who is watching is wife fade away and now has to bury his son?  Parents aren’t supposed to bury children, right?  So what do you say?  I honestly do not know.

Tears are light, not because I do not care. I do care. I am upset, but I knew the day was coming.  I also know this is the second uncle in just under two months that I have to say goodbye to. Not to mention all the other BS that life keeps throwing at me.  I’m tired.  I’m numb and I’m at a loss for all the things that I’m supposed to say.  For how I am supposed to be reacting.  Who, or what, determines that anyway?DSC_0894The only thing that I know…one of the strongest men I know has finally closed his eyes for the last time.  He no longer has to deal with the pain that came with his daily routine.  He can rest.  So go rest high on that mountain, Uncle Mark.  You have fought long and hard.  You lived long past what they said you would.  You have earned the right to rest, but thank you for fighting as hard as you did and for as long as you did.  You are loved. You are missed, but rest.  It is time.

Montana Rose Photography

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Remembering…

DSC_1404.jpgThe fingers of a woman remembering her husband. A friend stands from behind as if to protect.   I don’t know if the picture reveals what was in the moment, but it was a moment.  The guy in the cowboy hat, one of two members of Halfway to Hazard.  I’d heard of them, but never listened to their music.  MG helped them get their start if I remember.  This particular hat, did not really leave her side.  So, this moment…this as good as I could get, but I still think that it says something. I hope that you agree.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

Sir Duke…

DSC_2591Says he is over this week.  Actually, this was taken on Sunday. The warmer weather made all the ponies happy…and a little lazy.  I don’t blame them.  This weekend…cold and snow.  Yay….yeah.

Whatever the weather is where you are at…Hope that this warms your day just for a moment.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

Family

An aunt and uncle.  The aunt married into the family.  Both have pretty serious health issues, both stay out late at pool matches.  I’m not sure what that says about me, because the night I took these pictures it was somewhere around 8 or nine Indiana time and I was ready for bed.  They on the other hand were off to the pool hall so that my uncle could play pool.  Something that he and one of my cousins have done for as long as I can remember.  Whatever keeps you young, I suppose.  I should find something like that.  However, to be fair…my uncle was dozing off while we were there.

She on the other hand…always vibrant and full of life. At least while we are around. She is one of those very perky and positive people.  One that always seems to be on the up end of hill.  Sometimes, I’m not sure how I feel about that.  I am sure that makes me sound like a horrible person, but I’m also sure that I’m not alone.  Maybe I am.  I mean, don’t get me wrong…I think that it is amazing that she is always so perky…but just sometimes.  She’s often at a 12 on a scale of 1-10 and I wish that she’d dial it back to an 8.

Truth is, I probably wouldn’t actually change it.  It is who she is and there are way too many people out there that try to change how others are.  There are also way too many negative people out there (I’m guilty of that myself) and it is good to have perky people in the mix.

Either way they are family and that is where we are with that.

 

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

Russel says….

DSC_1624.jpgSleep on it….or he’s saying, “I do not see you…you do not exist.”  Nice days have Mr. Russel a little unsociable these days.  Probably because they rare and do not last.  Mother Nature has some serious attitude this year.  50s one day and then drops back down to the 30s.  I think that we get one more day in the 50s this week and then it starts dropping again.  Have to love winter…or not, either way I am ready for spring weather that stays.

As for the picture, I don’t know how I feel about it.  I feel rusty and as if I’ve forgotten how to take pictures.  I’ve probably said that before.  I think that I got lucky enough to have some decent shots out of this batch.  I like this one, I’m just not sure it is doing what I want.  I’ll probably revisit it.  In the mean time, I hope you enjoy this one.

Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography

Missing the Music….

DSC_1101.jpgThis guitar sits in remembrance during concerts now.  It may get strummed once or twice at the very end as they pick it up to put it away, but for the most part-it sits up high with a spotlight beaming on it.  Fog circling it. And a presence that the fans know well.  At least the true fans, I suspect.   I recognized it.

As for me, I’m still having a little trouble hearing the music.  I’ve  got a whole batch of concert pictures sitting in a folder. This one, the only one touched.  I will not pop the cork on that bottle of “whine”.  I will, however, try to not stay gone so long.

Until then, have a beautiful day and tomorrow.

Montana Rose Photography