I wonder what this picture says about me. Is it unique enough? Probably not. Is it expressive of my soul? Is it personal enough? If the answer is no to all, do I wonder what the point is? Do I wonder why bother continuing?
This is not self-pity. It is more of self awareness. Or at least finding there of that. A friend told me that my paintings were more expressive of my soul than my photography. It is why I cannot profit from photography. Maybe there is a point, but are my paintings really such? I cannot help but wonder as all I do is pour paint on to a canvas and hope for the best.
I was never really trying to be anything that I wasn’t. I just enjoy photography. I enjoy writing and I enjoy painting. I keep hearing how everyone is a photographer these days. How everyone can be a painter thanks to the development of fluid painting. Everyone’s a writer. So, how do I stay unique and expressive in a world where it seems like everyone is trying to tell me that I’m no different than anybody else?
These are the thoughts that run through my head, but as I was typing this-I started thinking about the deer staring back at me from this picture. Most deer look the same for those that do not pay close attention, but every deer is different. And no deer presents the same picture or the same type of moment when seen. Are we as people not that much different than deer?
I don’t know if my photography is truly unique. It probably isn’t. I don’t know if it is truly expressive of my soul. I would like to think that it is. I was told once that you could see how much I care for animals in my pictures. I don’t know if that is true, but I would hope that some part of me appears in my photography. I don’t know what kind of painter I truly am? Am I even a painter? I don’t consider myself one. All of these things fall under the art category in some sense. So am I an artist? That question remains open. What I do know is that I truly enjoy all of it and I love sharing it. Will I ever profit from any of it? I don’t know. It shouldn’t be about the money, it should be about the love of it all. I just hope that I’m enough like a deer that it brings enough to the table for people to notice and like my work.
Have a beautiful day and tomorrow.
Montana Rose Photography