I’m sure that is a title that I have used before, but it seems fitting today.
I’m constantly pondering and wondering. Do I do this? Do I do that? Maybe it is time to walk away. Hang up the camera. Hang up the writing. Give up the art and the goals. Those passions are faded. Or I am jilted, it is hard to determine the exact cause. I mean, are they faded because I’m jilted or are they just faded because sometimes those things fade? Is there any one answer? Probably not. It is probably a combination of all of the above.
It is not that I don’t have time. I have some, not a lot…but some. Enough that each free time could include one creative activity for that day. Maybe it is a rut. Or the lack of knowledge. How to reach people in already saturated markets? My people skills…truth be told, they are horrible. I’m good for moments, but the whole outreach thing…it is usually beyond my reach. How to know how to connect with the audience? Things that just really are lost on me.
That is not whining. Or self pity. I know that it sounds like that. I guess to some extent they are, but that is not how they are intended. They are just thoughts that are running through my head. Ever since my friend died back in November…all kinds of thoughts just run through my head. All kinds of ramblings.
Maybe I should change the name of my blog to the, “Ramblings of a struggling photographer”. I forgot where I was going with that. But anyway. Like and old photograph things just become faded. I don’t know if there is a way for me to renew whatever it is that is missing. Today, I plan on breaking out my camera for the first real time in months. There is an old abandoned motel that I’ve had my eyes on for months, but have never attempted to stop. Keeping meaning too, but have not. I am hopeful that will result in some new photographs for your viewing pleasure. I’m going camping in a couple of months, but it will be much of the same as I will be stocking mountain goats, buffalo, and pronghorns. I will try to make them different, but you know.
I have over a 160 followers. I appreciate each one of you and thank you so much for sticking with my blog. Even through my redundancy and my rambles. I hope you continue to do so and I hope you have a beautiful day and tomorrow.
Montana Rose Photography